I went 'dark' last Wednesday and my computer was restored yesterday which explains why I have not been in blogland for a while. What it doesn't explain is why I can't seem to get going again designing and making cards. I couldn't even bring myself to update my blog yesterday in case I lost the computer again. It was not a virus according to the repair shop and the bloke gave my husband an explanation which really amounts to "just one of those things". Well, just call me Jonah but I hate the thought that I cannot prevent this from happening again. And the panic and anxiety I felt when I thought I may have lost all my files was disproportionate so now I'm in 'protestant' mode - 'stop doing it, even if it gives you so much pleasure, because having it inexplicably snatched away is too hard; wouldn't want that to happen again!' I cannot get my mojo to engage and there is a roiling pit in my tum when I try. It's an odd feeling to say the least - I tried to explain to Mr H but he does not have the same martyr's mindset as me and cannot see the problem.
My friend and generous crafting buddy Bernadette sent me some lovely stash yesterday and a Tilda magazine. I should have realised that Magnolia's Tilda was a phenom but I did not know how big a phenom it is. I have only just started to engage with Tilda and in my present frame of mind just thought negatively about being able to attain the level of beauty achieved in the work in the mag. I don't usually allow those kinds of feelings to detract from my enjoyment but now....... Can't wait for the snap to snap me out of this funk.
As if anyone needed to know! Middle-age is not as high profile as teen-age but it is just as hormone driven and anxious so where are the pop songs and the trendy clothes for our age? Is it just that we have been deemed to be grown up and capable? I want it recognised that I am emotional and dangerous and likely to wear a hoodie! (for the cold, mind!) Blooming 'eck, hormones are such tiny things with such a powerful hold, especially on women.
On the grounds that I am going off on a tangent I'm going to finish this post here and go and have a look for my mojo. I'm sure it has just been misplaced rather than lost altogether so maybe I'll locate it soon; wish me luck!